Ek Paigaam mere Adarsh ke naam : an ode to MICHAEL JACKSON

                                zikr hua tha jab tumhara 
                            kayamat si chhai thi baharon mein
                          tum woh jisne badal ke rakh diya sab kuch
                                 kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                          jivan ki aapa-dhapi se mera dhyan hata diya
                            naya sa khumar mujh mein jaga diya
                               kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                       saj dhaj jo mere garibkhane mein rannakein laga di 
                         dil mein kuch karne ki aatishbaazi jala di  
                                   kya kahun, kya ho tum
                       har mushkil mein deedar tumhara karta raha
                  woh baat karien pyaar ki main tum par gazal likha karta tha 
                                    kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                     mere dukhon ke ehsason ka kuch narm kar diya 
                   jalti hui, tadapati hui ruh ko kuch thanda kar diya 
                                   kya kahun, kon ho tum 
              ganit ka ghatana aur woh guna karnanahin hota tha hal
                           swal-jawab nahin hote the yaad 
                          par dhun jo sunai deti tumhari
            meri khushi ko chhod, mera khud ka thikana nahin rehta tha 
                               kya kahun,kon ho tum 
               jhoomta tha main un sab ki tarah sab kuch bhulakar 
               nashe mein na hokar bhi behak gaya, sudh-budh khokar
                              sab tumhari karimi ka asar
                              kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                                   jadu ho tum
              jadugar ki tarah aagosh mein dewana banaya tha 
              woh junoon mere sir- pair par chhaya tha 
              sangeet aaradhana, meri sadhana tumne banaya tha 
              woh toh likhte hain tumne toh itihas banaya tha 
                         ek yug ko tumne sikhaya tha 
                   mausiki ko meri ibadat banaya tha
            jismani toh chale gaye jab allah se farman aaya tha 
             ruh se tootkar jab bikhar gaye mootiyon ki tarah 
                    ek aansoun yunhi chhalka aaya 
           kamal ki baat hai insaon mein na jaan kahan se
                jadu sa woh farishta nikhar aaya tha
                      kya kahun, kon ho tum 

  

Random Thoughts

sometimes you have this song constantly playing in your head but neither the tempo nor the rhythm matches the mood of your state. lately i have been struck by the same chord. it stressing. i can feel pain rising in every inch of my body. i have wasted the most significant times of my life. right now i feel worse than i could ever feel. in life there are going to be certain moments when you are reminded that how timeless time is . i wish i could do anything, somehow turn back the hands of time but i ain't capable. there is nothing i can do now except go on and regret about it. 
i feel my life has lost its meaning in the mere chaos. it has nothing to stand for. sometimes i hate myself and sometimes i hate those who are always around me. it seems as if someone placed a huge stone on my chest and i am unable to lift up the weight. 
the wishful thinking of running away, escaping never ceases to escape my mind. i am always thinking about it, always dreaming about it and yet nothing changes. i am alone and tired. i really cannot explain my situation. i did not create this platform to post my own laments. aren't suppose to keep everything bottled up inside? i guess in my situation yes, i am suppose to keep it inside. a long time ago i composed a song inspired from the doors Mojo Rising, the song was called  "So Lame" i can very well remember the line "she don't listen to anyone" clearly ringing in my brain. it hurts, it hurts a lot. i can feel a shooting pain rising from gut and then burning my throat to a point that it turns to ash, the pain is acidic. 
at this point i am being selfish, i have been suffocated for a long, long time and its times for me to go, to leave all the cares in the world. at this point i wish for death, my only refuge.in her arms i will find my final solace, i pray for it....till then, i wait looking blankly ahead.  

Un-consented

           i listen to them telling lies
          when i see the truth lying naked 
                 in front of me
             they used to worry 
             covering themselves 
           from scary eyes outside
    she never used to be tensed about it   
             but now when 
       they stare her down 
      sometimes she feels special 
     sometimes she is flattered 
   yet she can see those eyes 
         undressing her 
        unconsented....

When He comes

the eyes won't be able to tell the time
but they're crystal clear to know when your hear
                when you come
               hearts blossoms
even the rusty old autumns dances to youthful spring
              when you come
the life's flow began to increase, 
               the moving sea
              when you come
         colors fill in the air 
your presence enlightens like thousand sons
             when you come
the complexities of life seem to forget their way
but she remembers exactly what you used to do? or
   how you were when you were born
             when you come 
the fights, the battles that they're often at
           all vanish away
your smile is the warmth to the wrinkled faded face
          when you come
time bounds itself and doesn't move away
     moments seem like centuries
         whenever you come
it happens, losing themselves
 savoring in each and every split second
   all we can, when you come 

Maybe

  maybe if i was young and stupid 
  he could've believed  me 
maybe if i was nice and pretty
 he didn't had to suck it 
maybe if i was quiet and naive
he won't have to push him
maybe if i was lost and found him
 he didn't have to abuse me
maybe if i had heard more and less talkative
 he didn't had to punish me
maybe if i was witty and silly
he could've hugged me
maybe if i was shy and alone
only then he could've loved me.....

Mann Kehta hai

                                         mann kehta hai 
                                      asmaano mein udon
                                      samet kar saare taare 
                              tere daaman mein bhar doon 
                                        mann kehta hai 
                                    jitne khawab hain tere
                                 sabhi aaj he pure kar doon
                                      mann kehta hai 
                               ki kaiynaat ki tamaaam
                     jo bhi hain khushiyan tere naam kar doon    
                                pari ho tum meri jahan ki
                              dhoondh dhoond kar 
                       jaanat aur zameen  ek kar doon 
                                 mann kehta hai 
                          ki jab uthe mere kadam 
                 meri har manzil tere hawale kar doon 
                            mann kehta hai ki
                            mere har sajde mein 
                            ho sajda tumhara
                  un hatheliyon mein jaan nisar kar doon
                    aur agar fir bhi reh jaaye koi kasar     
                                mann kehta hai
                     ki saari kasar puri kar doon 

My take on Love and Relantionships

I came upon this a true story about an elderly gentleman and a divorced lady who were neighbors. They lived alone. She rarely came out of her house. The man helped her break out of her cocoon. They began spending time together and people began making stories about them. The woman became so despondent that she decided to shift but the man stood by her side and to shut the people out they got married.  For most of us it might sound as a very strange relationship.  

The man had been a widower. His kids had grown and had a life of their own. He was experienced going through the harsh realities of life. The lady had been recently divorced and was in a dilemma about who she was and what was she going to do the rest of her life?  Being alone and then a lady she had already been marginalized. She considered herself the victim of the situation.  The answer to the question that what could be the reason behind their unique relationship is their loneliness. Both have been deprived thus, found solace in each other. The man cannot predict what lies ahead but he can certainly be there and make sure that she stands tall against all odds. He can guide her through his experience; make her used-to of her new lifestyle yet she’d have to find her own way.  He can provide realism to her unresolved prayers.

They don’t expect much off each other they’re just glad that they found a companion. The lady considers this man to be a savior in times of trouble when her own shadow deceived her; he was the one to rescue her from self destruction. The man considers the lady to be his last beacon of hope. They help survive each other. According to them their loneliness and mutual understanding gave rise to love and they were able to make a bold move as they tied the knot with one another.  This relationship can help both of them to evolve and confront their fears and the world.

Love is abstract and their can never be any explanations. According to my opinion love is a process, it breeds, it grows and get better with time. It isn’t important that one can always be right about it mostly what we consider ‘love’ is fancy imagination or infatuation.

As history goes ideologies have also been conflicted between the modern and the age old. The experienced members of the society always claim that a true relationship should be based on parental acceptance. But I believe that a foundation of every relationship is love because it covers all aspects needed between two people.

One thing that should be kept in mind that nothing works one sided. You have to see  that its two hands that claps rings.  Relationship is constant work so don’t give up and never get exhausted.  Human tendencies and their differences will not make them always agreeable. Resolve your differences and start on a blank slate. Learn from your experiences whether good or bad. Create a fine balance and eventually you will get it right as they say that there is always room for improvement.

Everything begins with a small talk. The more you talk the more you get comfortable around the person.  Don’t be afraid to get into arguments or fights. Communications should always be platonic. You should be able to confess anything and everything whether it is being unwilling to quit your job or lack of satisfaction during intimacy. Do not hesitate. Let’s remember this that one way or the other you are going to tell it someone so let that someone be that person whenever in doubt just ask yourself “will it be better if the person hears from you or from someone else?”

Two bodies’ one soul but it shouldn’t be two bodies congested and suffocating in one soul. Everyone should get their own share of appropriate privacy. For example a lawyer and a doctor were arguing who loves who the most the doctor said that I love you so much that I can get stars for you so the lawyer replied that if you love me so much that become a lawyer like me: we can understand that love is giving completeness to each other otherwise the relationship becomes lopsided but the instance right here is not a sacrifice rather a step towards a ruined future spent in an asylum. Love should be nurtured and shared; it shouldn’t become the reason for interference.

There is nothing perfect in this world. One can only aim for profundity. Spending quality time and actually paying attention to each other solves half the problem. Relationships never work on fickle and frivolous. You cannot get by relationships by using hit and try methods. It is a matter of choice so the decision should lie in your hands. You shouldn’t be influenced by anyone or anything.

Love is unbiased of everything and anything; it only commands self-dedication which comes through respect and modesty. It is an expression and one shouldn’t feel it for the sake of feeling it but accept it with sensibility and embrace it soulfully for once and for all.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heaven dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.- Khalil Gibran.