My Vist to The JAMALI KAMALI MOSQUE

walked down the broken road and sat in silence. for the first time i am experiencing silence. it is unlike other places where crowds take over the realness of a place. at the Jamali Kamali all i can hear is birds chipping somewhere in the distance and the wind taking its course on dry leaves. no matter how hard i try it would be very difficult to explain the rustling of leaves- all i can say that its crisp and fast, so fast that the moment you realize its gone! puff! in the air! such places are vanishing from the city. a part of me wants to run away, run into the maddening crowds and away from this nothingness but the alluring silence had kept me in. the silence my own whispers create unspeakable noises so i want to keep my thoughts inside my head as i don't want to disturb the subtlety of place. footsteps, harsh sound on the ground, this doting sound. i am not aware of the history behind the place all i know is that Jamali was a sheikh and that he is buried next to his wife Kamali., thus it is known as Jamali Kamali mosque. there is not much to explore here as it is just a protected monument locked away from various sides. but in places like these every nook and cranny speaks a tale untold and unravel the most disturbing yet consoling secrets of all time. in this silence everything meaningful loses translations and question begins to rise in my mind and once we really existing or is it just part of mirage? what's strange about this place is that you can see the famous Qutub Minar from here. in front of Qutub Minar which is ever crowded and a center of attraction this place practically in ruins seem like an underdog but it has treasured what Qutub Minar has lost:- the precious silence that's been unheard, the precious silence in ruins,the beauty behind ruins that makes one want to lose ourselves and then maybe never recover from it but it will all be worth it cause it is through the sense of lost one discovers something which remains a puzzle for many. every little speck, nook or cranny i can feel the couplets, the sonnets  or the shers being recited it is there! yes it is! all i had to do is become one with the silence and lose myself in it.
the wind in the winter morning is calm, caressing my cheeks, brushing away with my skin, harsh, crushing my soul withing and making me realize that it's time for me to leave....so long..farewell

Uski Nazar

                                                   jab ho jaaye kaam tumhara 
                                                     fursat ke palon mein
                                               aakar baith jaana pehlo mein
                                              guftagoo chaahe na bhi ho
                                          humari baatein nazaron se hogi   
                                            woh naraaz hoon beshak
                                           dutkaar bhi de mujh ko
                                           lekin us namkeeniyat
                                       ke bhi kuch alag maza hoga
                                  kadam uthkar jaane ki jo karein himakat 
                                        tum thaam lena daaman 
                                      jakad lena mujhe apne mein 
                                       par jaane mat dena 
                                 kyunki mujhe ilm hai ki tumhe  
                            khoya toh shayad apne aap ko he kho baithunga
                                      galat thehrao mujhe 
                                      ehsas karvana mujhe 
                                  bas mujhe jaane mat dena 
                        lekin jab bulava aa jaaye parvar digaar ka 
                                  tab na karna tum sajde 
                    unhe nazaron se kehna ki jhukkar sharam se salaam karein   
                       aur halki si woh motiyon si muskuharat 
                  jiske kaatil hai aur isi tarah mujhe vida karein 

      

Jail Mukarar

"Jail Mukarar kar di hai" the minute i was told that my world moved beneath my feet. i had reached my end, the end. i realized that my impending doom was on me. everything dawned in front of me. nothing else seemed to matter no more when you see your world crushing down before your eyes and you are so helpless you can't even do anything. 

you know how does it feel when you have to end anything or in my case everything that you loved and nurtured with you affection,care, hopes and hard work, it feel as if your setting your body on fire and then watching it turn into ashes, just slowly every piece of you coming down, your losing it all and the worst thing is - your still told to live, survive somehow.

people always tell you to live, but they never tell you how are you going to live? how are you going to survive in this wild bizarre jungle called "Life"? the question we need to ask ourselves and the others HOW??? 

its my life at the end of the day so why is it suppose to be influenced by others? and why people blindly follow it? 

all this was rumbling inside, like a wave inside my mind but i couldn't, i just couldn't say anything at all, i was numb and silent, hearing them make decision about my life as if they owned me and before i could utter a single word he had already done it, fixed a prison for me, when i couldn't open the gate he opened it to let me inside and i said to myself "aksar jailer he jail ka darwaza khola karte hain"

Kun Faaya Kun

i know you guys must be wondering about this strange song title i have given to my post today. it been a long time since i last blogged but as they say it takes a while for the addiction to kick in and for you to get lost in it. 
anyways, this Thursday morning my eyes forced my body and my sleeping mother out of the bed so that we could visit the holy dargah of Hazrat Nizamuddin. for all who don't know i am personally extremely scared of visiting religious places but that morning it assembled each and every piece of my guts to go and pray for once. i know what you might be thinking how come this poetry posting blog turned into personal issues but sometimes you just have to get it all out. so i walked inside and looked around: the other reason why i don't like to visit religious places is that i can never connect with the whole environment of it. when i saw the beggars and the physically challenged i remembered this instance from the Gautam Buddha's life story that how he felt so miserable to see others in pain, the same i could feel the moment i crossed my eyes with any of the passerby so i tried to look down every time and all the time. but to indulge in the holy experience really does seem to bring you closer with spirituality. i wish i had more to say to it but its all about feeling. you don't get until you feel it.... till then khuda haawiz