Ek Paigaam mere Adarsh ke naam : an ode to MICHAEL JACKSON

                                zikr hua tha jab tumhara 
                            kayamat si chhai thi baharon mein
                          tum woh jisne badal ke rakh diya sab kuch
                                 kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                          jivan ki aapa-dhapi se mera dhyan hata diya
                            naya sa khumar mujh mein jaga diya
                               kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                       saj dhaj jo mere garibkhane mein rannakein laga di 
                         dil mein kuch karne ki aatishbaazi jala di  
                                   kya kahun, kya ho tum
                       har mushkil mein deedar tumhara karta raha
                  woh baat karien pyaar ki main tum par gazal likha karta tha 
                                    kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                     mere dukhon ke ehsason ka kuch narm kar diya 
                   jalti hui, tadapati hui ruh ko kuch thanda kar diya 
                                   kya kahun, kon ho tum 
              ganit ka ghatana aur woh guna karnanahin hota tha hal
                           swal-jawab nahin hote the yaad 
                          par dhun jo sunai deti tumhari
            meri khushi ko chhod, mera khud ka thikana nahin rehta tha 
                               kya kahun,kon ho tum 
               jhoomta tha main un sab ki tarah sab kuch bhulakar 
               nashe mein na hokar bhi behak gaya, sudh-budh khokar
                              sab tumhari karimi ka asar
                              kya kahun, kon ho tum 
                                   jadu ho tum
              jadugar ki tarah aagosh mein dewana banaya tha 
              woh junoon mere sir- pair par chhaya tha 
              sangeet aaradhana, meri sadhana tumne banaya tha 
              woh toh likhte hain tumne toh itihas banaya tha 
                         ek yug ko tumne sikhaya tha 
                   mausiki ko meri ibadat banaya tha
            jismani toh chale gaye jab allah se farman aaya tha 
             ruh se tootkar jab bikhar gaye mootiyon ki tarah 
                    ek aansoun yunhi chhalka aaya 
           kamal ki baat hai insaon mein na jaan kahan se
                jadu sa woh farishta nikhar aaya tha
                      kya kahun, kon ho tum 

  

Random Thoughts

sometimes you have this song constantly playing in your head but neither the tempo nor the rhythm matches the mood of your state. lately i have been struck by the same chord. it stressing. i can feel pain rising in every inch of my body. i have wasted the most significant times of my life. right now i feel worse than i could ever feel. in life there are going to be certain moments when you are reminded that how timeless time is . i wish i could do anything, somehow turn back the hands of time but i ain't capable. there is nothing i can do now except go on and regret about it. 
i feel my life has lost its meaning in the mere chaos. it has nothing to stand for. sometimes i hate myself and sometimes i hate those who are always around me. it seems as if someone placed a huge stone on my chest and i am unable to lift up the weight. 
the wishful thinking of running away, escaping never ceases to escape my mind. i am always thinking about it, always dreaming about it and yet nothing changes. i am alone and tired. i really cannot explain my situation. i did not create this platform to post my own laments. aren't suppose to keep everything bottled up inside? i guess in my situation yes, i am suppose to keep it inside. a long time ago i composed a song inspired from the doors Mojo Rising, the song was called  "So Lame" i can very well remember the line "she don't listen to anyone" clearly ringing in my brain. it hurts, it hurts a lot. i can feel a shooting pain rising from gut and then burning my throat to a point that it turns to ash, the pain is acidic. 
at this point i am being selfish, i have been suffocated for a long, long time and its times for me to go, to leave all the cares in the world. at this point i wish for death, my only refuge.in her arms i will find my final solace, i pray for it....till then, i wait looking blankly ahead.  

Un-consented

           i listen to them telling lies
          when i see the truth lying naked 
                 in front of me
             they used to worry 
             covering themselves 
           from scary eyes outside
    she never used to be tensed about it   
             but now when 
       they stare her down 
      sometimes she feels special 
     sometimes she is flattered 
   yet she can see those eyes 
         undressing her 
        unconsented....